Healing Hues
Suicide Prevention Month & The Black Community
Suicide is one of those topics that many of us avoid because it feels too heavy, too painful, or too close to home. But avoiding it hasn’t made it go away. In fact, the most recent research shows that suicide is rising at alarming rates in the Black community, especially among Black youth and young adults.
This month is Suicide Prevention Month, and it’s time we name what’s happening and start shifting the conversation.
What the Numbers Show
According to recent studies, Black youth are experiencing the fastest rise in suicide attempts compared to other racial and ethnic groups. Black men and women, too, are dying by suicide at increasing rates. Behind these numbers are layers of generational trauma, systemic racism, barriers to mental health care, and stigma around seeking help.
These aren’t just “statistics.” These are our families, our neighbors, our churches, our classrooms.
Why This Matters
For so long, there’s been a belief that “we’re strong enough” or “suicide doesn’t happen in our community.” That myth has kept too many people silent, suffering in isolation. The truth is: we are strong, but strength doesn’t mean carrying pain alone.
Talking openly about suicide doesn’t plant the idea. It gives people permission to release shame and reach for help. Silence has cost us too much already.
What We Can Do
Normalize the Conversation: Saying “I’m struggling” should feel as natural as saying “I’m tired.”
Check In, Really: Ask the people you love how they’re are doing with intention, and stay present for the answer.
Break Stigma Around Therapy: Healing is for us, too. Don’t let stigma keep you or others from getting the chance to improve your life.
Know the Signs: Withdrawing, sudden mood shifts, and feelings of hopelessness are not always “phases.” They could be cries for help.
Share Resources: If you or someone you know is struggling, call or text 988 for immediate support. Crisis lines save lives.
Final Note:
Talking about suicide in the Black community is not easy, but it’s necessary. Every conversation we have chips away at stigma and creates room for healing. If you’ve ever felt like giving up, please know: you are not alone, and your story is not over.
This Suicide Prevention Month, let’s move beyond awareness and into action, because our lives truly depend on it.
Kiandra Daniels, LMFT-S, ADHD-CCSP
Color Wheel Therapy
Navigating Transitions with Care
“Transitions, whether big or small, can bring up all kinds of emotions. It’s normal to feel unsure and still keep moving forward.”
Transitions are one of the few things in life we can rely on. Some changes are expected, like graduation or starting a new job. Others happen suddenly, like a breakup, losing a loved one, or an unexpected change in health or finances. Even smaller transitions, such as moving to a new home or adjusting to a new routine, can make us feel unsteady.
The truth is, no matter how big the change, transitions stir up emotions.
We might feel excited about what’s coming while also mourning what we’re leaving behind. One moment we might feel hopeful, and the next, fearful. That’s perfectly okay; uncertainty is a natural part of growth.
Why Transitions Feel Overwhelming
Change is both a start and a finish. With every new step forward, something else shifts, closes, or fades. Our brains crave predictability, so when routines or roles change, we may feel like the ground is shifting beneath us.
For many in the Black community, transitions can bring extra pressures. We might need to prove ourselves in new spaces, carry generational expectations, or navigate environments with limited support. These added burdens can make even positive changes feel complex.
How to Honor Your Emotions Without Getting Stuck
1. Name What You’re Feeling
Instead of pushing emotions away, pause and name them. Say, “I feel nervous,” “I feel hopeful,” or “I feel sad.” Naming your emotions helps make them feel less overwhelming.
2. Create Space for Reflection
Journaling, praying, or talking with a trusted friend or therapist can help you process the excitement and grief that come with transitions.
3. Ground Yourself in the Present
When uncertainty feels overwhelming, focus on small grounding practices. Try deep breathing, taking a short walk, or repeating a calming phrase: “I can handle this moment.”
4. Celebrate the Small Wins
Even during a difficult transition, take time to recognize what you’ve already managed. Small steps forward deserve recognition.
Gentle Reminders for Seasons of Change
• You don’t need to have everything figured out right away.
• Feeling several emotions at once doesn’t mean you’re failing; it means you’re human.
• Moving forward doesn’t mean forgetting or ignoring what you’re leaving behind.
• Uncertainty doesn’t have to prevent you from taking the next step.
Final Thoughts
Transitions are rarely easy, but they show that you’re growing. Every change, even the uncomfortable ones, invites you to build resilience and trust in yourself.
If you’re experiencing a transition right now, remember that you don’t have to rush. You don’t have to act like it’s easy. Just keep moving forward, one step at a time.
Kiandra Daniels, LMFT-S, ADHD-CCSP
Color Wheel Therapy
Releasing Perfectionism
“Perfectionism can sound like protection but really, it’s pressure.”
Perfectionism often whispers, “If you do this flawlessly, no one can hurt you.” It convinces us that by being polished, put-together, and always right, we can avoid judgment, rejection, or failure.
But here’s the truth: perfectionism doesn’t protect us. It exhausts us.
It keeps us overthinking every email, every word, every choice. It makes rest feel like a reward we don’t deserve. It tricks us into believing our worth is tied to how much we produce or how perfect we appear.
For many of us in the Black community, perfectionism has also been taught as survival. “Work twice as hard to be seen as good enough.” “Don’t make mistakes, because the consequences won’t be the same.” These lessons weren’t about thriving—they were about staying safe in a world that wasn’t built to extend us grace.
But holding yourself to impossible standards is not freedom. It’s pressure.
Signs Perfectionism May Be Showing Up in Your Life:
You feel guilty resting unless everything is done.
You constantly replay conversations in your head, worrying that you said the wrong thing.
You avoid trying new things unless you’re sure you’ll succeed.
You struggle to celebrate small wins because you’re focused on what comes next.
You hide mistakes instead of viewing them as part of growth.
If this sounds familiar, know that you’re not broken. You’re human. You deserve the space to be real, not perfect.
How to Begin Releasing Perfectionism
Name the fear behind it.
Ask yourself: “What do I think will happen if I mess this up?” Naming the fear often takes away some of its power.Practice “good enough.”
Instead of aiming for flawless, try aiming for done. Done is progress. Perfect is pressure.Rest without earning it.
Give yourself permission to rest even when the checklist isn’t finished. Rest isn’t a reward. We need rest to survive.Celebrate small wins.
Don’t skip over progress. Acknowledge every step forward, no matter how small.Lean into self-compassion.
Talk to yourself the way you would talk to someone you love. Replace “I should have done better” with “I’m learning as I go.”
Final Note:
Perfectionism may have begun as a way to protect you, but it is not the path to healing. Real growth occurs in mistakes, in the messy middle, and in the moments when you show up as your authentic self.
This week, try deliberately allowing one thing to be imperfect. Observe what happens. You might discover freedom in the space that perfectionism once occupied.
Kiandra Daniels, LMFT-S, ADHD-CCSP
Color Wheel Therapy
Restoring Emotional Safety
When life shakes your sense of safety, it can feel like your anxiety, fear, and guard are all turned up to the max.
Emotional safety isn’t only about being physically safe or feeling comfortable in a room. It involves being able to breathe without looking for danger, speak without rehearsing every word, and rest without feeling guilty.
For many of us, especially in the Black community, our sense of safety has been shaped by our experiences, family patterns, and times when trust was broken. It’s not just in your head. It’s in your body, your relationships, and how you navigate the world.
Signs Your Emotional Safety Has Been Disrupted
You might notice:
Feeling tense even in “safe” spaces.
Downplaying your feelings to avoid conflict.
Staying busy to avoid being alone with your thoughts.
Being hyper-aware of others’ moods, as if preparing for something.
If any of these sound familiar, you’re not broken. Your nervous system is just trying to protect you, even if it ends up wearing you out.
How to Start Restoring Emotional Safety
Rebuilding trust in yourself and your surroundings takes time, but you can start with small, purposeful steps:
1. Name What Feels Unsafe
Sometimes we know exactly what, or who, triggers us. Other times, it’s harder to identify. Naming it is the first step toward understanding your needs.
2. Create Micro-Moments of Peace
Light a candle. Step outside for fresh air. Journal for five minutes. These small acts send a strong message to your body: “Right now, I’m okay.”
3. Set Gentle Boundaries
This might mean limiting time with people who drain your energy or saying no to conversations that leave you feeling uneasy. Boundaries aren’t walls; they are doors you decide when and how to open.
4. Find Safe People
Surround yourself with those who make you feel heard, seen, and respected—not judged. Safe relationships help change the belief that connection equals danger.
5. Seek Professional Support
Therapy can help you discover why you feel unsafe, process the experiences that shaped this feeling, and guide you toward a more stable way of living.
Why Emotional Safety Matters
Restoring emotional safety isn't about creating a perfect life without risks. It's about trusting yourself to manage whatever happens next. It's about understanding that even when life feels uncertain, you have the tools, boundaries, and support to stay grounded.
This week, allow yourself to take one step toward feeling safe in your body, mind, and space. That step could be as simple as slowing your breathing, saying "no," or contacting someone who really listens.
Final Thoughts
Your emotional safety is not a luxury. It’s a foundation for your well-being. When you start to feel safe within yourself, your relationships change, your decisions become clearer, and your body begins to relax in ways it may not have for years. Healing requires patience and self-compassion. However, every small act of care is a step toward peace.
This week, allow yourself to take one step toward feeling safe in your own body, mind, and space.
Kiandra Daniels, LMFT-S, ADHD-CCSP
Color Wheel Therapy
Holding Space for Grief: Because Some Pain Doesn’t Just “go away”
We don’t talk enough about grief that lingers.
It’s the kind that doesn’t come with flowers or casseroles. It appears months or even years after the loss. It’s difficult to name because the world has already moved on.
Sometimes, grief doesn’t look like we expect. It might not come with tears. It might not be sadness as people typically recognize it. Sometimes, it takes the form of irritability. It involves shutting down, canceling plans for no clear reason, forgetting things, feeling heavy, or sensing that you’re always one small event away from falling apart.
You’re not being dramatic.
You’re grieving.
And you deserve space to do that.
In Black communities, grief often gets hidden. We learn to be strong, keep going, care for others, and not fall apart. However, this emotional struggle takes a toll. Unprocessed grief affects our bodies, our nervous systems, and how we engage in relationships.
It doesn't mean we're broken.
It means we're carrying things that need care.
So What Does It Look Like to Hold Space for Grief?
It means letting your sadness be without trying to change it. It means turning off your phone and crying in the car if that’s what you need. It means saying, “I’m not okay today,” and not providing any more details. It means remembering someone who’s gone and allowing the pain to just exist.
This isn’t about feeling sorry for yourself. It’s about respecting what was important, and what still is.
What I Want You to Know:
You’re allowed to miss something or someone, even if no one else is talking about it anymore.
You’re allowed to grieve a version of your life you thought you’d have.
You’re allowed to grieve while still holding joy.
And you’re allowed to feel your feelings without needing to earn rest or permission.
Here’s What Can Help:
Give your grief language.
Write a letter. Light a candle. Say their name. Speak to the version of you that’s hurting.
Take breaks.
Your brain and body weren’t meant to carry constant emotional weight. Rest is part of healing.
Don’t rush it.
Grief doesn’t follow a calendar. Some waves are small. Some knock you over. All are valid.
Let people in, if it feels safe.
You don’t have to grieve publicly, but you also don’t have to grieve completely alone.
Final Note:
Grief is not a weakness. It reflects love, connection, and what mattered. Give yourself permission to feel deeply. You don’t have to be okay all the time. You just have to be honest with yourself.
You’re doing better than you think.
Kiandra Daniels, LMFT-S, ADHD-CCSP
Color Wheel Therapy
Because I Said So... and Other Inherited Scripts
In many Black and Brown households, "Because I said so" is more than a response—a survival strategy passed down through generations. Rooted in histories of systemic surveillance, racialized expectations, and economic instability, this script often emerges not out of cruelty, but out of necessity. Yet today, as we raise the next generation, we have a powerful opportunity: to pause, reflect, and choose differently.
When the Mess Isn’t Just a Mess
You're not alone if you've ever felt dysregulated by your child not cleaning their room. That spiraling frustration is rarely about the clutter itself. It's often about what that mess represents:
● A loss of control
● Fear of judgment from others
● Internalized beliefs about respect and worth
● Echoes of being silenced or overly controlled as a child
In Black and Brown families, especially those raised under strict or survival-based parenting, cleanliness is often equated with discipline, value, and even safety.
From Obedience to Connection
The problem with "Because I said so" is that it centers obedience over understanding. It prioritizes control over connection. While it might get short-term compliance, it can also shut down emotional safety, especially in children who crave voice, autonomy, and dignity.
When we parent from a dysregulated place, we may unintentionally recreate the same patterns of control we experienced. We often feel urgency to correct, fix, or demand, not realizing that we are reactivating our unresolved wounds.
Conscious Scripts to Try Instead
Let’s rewrite the script. Instead of defaulting to inherited phrases, try:
● "I notice your room hasn’t been cleaned—what’s going on for you today?"
● "Let’s plan when and how this will get done."
● "When things are messy, I feel overwhelmed. Can we talk about how to find a rhythm that works for both of us?"
● "I want you to take ownership of your space. How can I support that without taking over?"
These scripts invite dialogue, responsibility, and mutual respect. They build emotional literacy instead of fear.
Reparenting Questions for Caregivers
1. What was my relationship to cleanliness and control as a child?
2. How did my caregivers respond to mess or disorder?
3. When I feel triggered by my child’s behavior, what does it remind me of from my upbringing?
4. What do I believe a clean room says about me as a parent?
5. Am I parenting to be respected, or parenting to be in control?
Final Thoughts: Choosing a New Legacy
Breaking generational patterns doesn’t mean abandoning structure or boundaries. It means offering them consciously, with awareness of the stories we’ve inherited and the children we're raising.
Your child deserves a relationship where their voice matters. You deserve a parenting experience that heals rather than repeats. Together, you can co-create a legacy that holds both accountability and compassion.
With care,
Syrita Braswell-O’Neal, LPC-Associate
Color Wheel Therapy
Supervised by Liz Ranson, LPC – TX
Healing Religious Trauma in Black Communities: How Therapy Can Help
For generations, faith and church have been at the center of Black life — spaces of resilience, resistance, and community. But for many Black women and men, these same places have also caused deep wounding.
Experiences of religious shame, spiritual control, identity suppression, or fear-based teachings often go unspoken — and unhealed. The result? Anxiety, depression, chronic guilt, and a sense of never being “enough.”
This is religious trauma — and yes, therapy can help.
What Religious Trauma Can Look Like
Religious trauma doesn’t always show up loudly. It often sounds like:
Fear of punishment or “missing the mark”
Shame about your body, identity, or needs
Suppressed anger, grief, or curiosity
Deep fear of questioning or leaving
Feeling like love was always conditional
For many of our clients, religious trauma stems from:
Fear-based teachings about sin, hell, or “backsliding”
Gender roles and purity culture that silence authenticity
Homophobia or transphobia in church settings
Manipulation or control masked as “spiritual authority”
Abuse justified as “discipline” or “God’s will”
And too often, responses like “pray it away” or “don’t question God” only deepen the pain.
Therapy as a Space to Reclaim Your Voice
As a former minister, I know how complicated — and sacred — faith can be. I’ve lived both its beauty and its harm. And I know what it feels like to grieve a version of God, question everything, or outgrow the religion you were raised in.
Therapy can help you:
Understand how religious trauma impacted your mental health
Separate your self-worth from spiritual performance
Heal shame, grief, fear, and identity suppression
Rebuild or redefine your spiritual life — on your terms
Learn to trust your voice again
Whether you’re deconstructing, redefining, or rediscovering, we hold space for it all.
Try This: A Gentle Self-Reflection Practice
Take a quiet moment for yourself — maybe light a candle or wrap up in something soft — and reflect on these questions:
• What parts of my faith journey were rooted in fear?
• What did I have to silence to belong?
• What do I believe about myself now — and does that belief feel kind?
Write freely. Let your journal or notes hold what you’ve been carrying.
You Are Not Alone
You can question — and still be spiritual.
You can walk away — and still be whole.
You can reclaim your voice — and not do it alone.
Religious trauma doesn’t make you faithless or broken. It means you’re human. And you’re ready to heal with honesty, care, and compassion.
Resources for Black Nonbelievers, Deconstructors & Spiritual Seekers
Wherever you are on your journey — questioning, reclaiming, or releasing — these voices may support you:
Unfit Christian – D. Danyelle Thomas’ platform centering Black healing, sexuality, and sacred truth-telling.
Black Nonbelievers, Inc. – A supportive space for atheist, agnostic, and humanist Black folks.
Evangelical & Holy Heretics Podcasts – Language, stories, and comfort for those leaving or reimagining Christian spaces.
Books:
“Shameless” by Nadia Bolz-Weber
“God Is a Black Woman” by Christena Cleveland
“Leaving the Fold” by Marlene Winell
You are sacred. You are not a mistake.
And your healing doesn’t need permission.
Let’s walk this journey — together.
With care,
Syrita Braswell-O’Neal, LPC-Associate
Color Wheel Therapy
Supervised by Liz Ranson, LPC – Texas
How Therapy Can Help Black Women Living with Chronic Pain
Integrating ACEs, Psychosomatic Healing & Body-Based Wisdom
Chronic pain is a silent weight that many Black women carry — fibromyalgia, migraines, pelvic tension, back pain. Too often, it’s misunderstood or dismissed.
But pain doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It often reflects unprocessed trauma, chronic stress, and the historical burdens that settle in the body. At Color Wheel Therapy, we offer a space where these layers are honored through an integrative, body-centered approach.
The Connection Between Trauma & the Body
The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) study shows how early trauma — including abuse, neglect, or exposure to violence — directly affects long-term health, including chronic pain.
Black women often carry high ACE scores, compounded by systemic racism, intergenerational trauma, and cultural pressure to be “strong.” Traditional systems overlook this, treating pain as a symptom to suppress rather than a story to listen to.
Therapy as a Healing Space
At Color Wheel Therapy, we explore the mind-body connection with compassion. Your pain is real — and it’s also a language. Chronic pain can be your nervous system’s way of saying:
“I’ve held too much for too long.”
Somatic Wisdom in Virtual Therapy
As a therapist and former massage therapist, I bring body awareness into telehealth sessions through:
Body scanning
Self-massage guidance
Grounding breathwork
Gentle movement practices
Even from a distance, we can explore where stress lives in your body — and how to help it release.
Healing Isn’t Always About Fixing
Sometimes, healing is simply giving yourself space to be witnessed, to soften, and to rest.
You deserve therapy that understands your lived experience, your culture, and your body’s wisdom.
You Are Not Alone
You are not too much.
You are not imagining it.
You don’t have to carry this alone.
Let’s Begin — Together
If you’re ready to take the next step, I invite you to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.
Let’s explore what healing could look like — in your body, on your terms.
5 Gentle Practices to Support Your Body Today
1. Hand-over-Heart Grounding
Slow breaths. Say: “I am safe. I am here. My body can rest.”
2. Epsom Salt Soak
A warm bath or foot soak with calming oils like lavender or chamomile.
3. Self-Massage
Gently massage your hands or neck. Speak kindly to yourself as you do.
4. 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding
Name:
5 things you see
4 things you touch
3 you hear
2 you smell
1 you taste
5. Journal Prompt
Ask: Where am I holding tension? What might that part of me need?
You don’t have to be “ready” — just willing. I’ll meet you there.
With care,
Syrita Braswell-O’Neal, LPC-Associate
Color Wheel Therapy
Supervised by Liz Ranson, LPC – TX